'Sup Footienuts?
Here at the FootieCall Villa, we manged to track down an England National team expert and probe him as to whether England have the balls of steel to get through to the next round. We however cannot give away his name or role as it might have an adverse effect on his current relationship with the England national team...
FootieNuts, I give to you... Pom man!
Potz: Who will partner Rooney up from tonight, Andy Carroll or Wellbeck?
Pom man: Wellbeck. Aside from the goal, he had a better game than the Divine Ponytail. 96% passing accuracy & 2 chances created. He also has the ability to play wide if Roy does decide to have 3 up front.
Potz: Do you think AC should start due to his "good-ish" game in the previous round?
Pom man: We love you England oh yes we do... What? Oh yeah. He has done all he can, but he’s outclassed by Rooney & Danny has done a better job. There’s a need for Carroll, but perhaps not a need to start him.
Potz: Please stay focused? What's the mood like in the England camp at the moment?
Pom man: One Alan Shearer! There's only one Alan Shearer! Mood? Ah, OK. The return of Rooney brings a lot of optimism – the man himself is hungry for action. Although this does promise a lot, the idea that they can go all the way has also returned. With it brings unnecessary pressure. I think the players are level headed while also optimistic.
Potz: Are you happy with Roy's defensive approach?
Pom man: I wouldn't say it’s a fully defensive approach. 4 goals in 2 games is a good return. France are stronger than England so other tactics were required. He’s growing the team & they’re adapting to each game well – including the friendlies.
Potz: Many people have slated Hodgson for leaving out Rio. Yet, Hodgson's defensive style suggests that a 10 man defensive line works with or without Rio. Your thoughts?
Pom man: They can play defensive when they need to. If Roy’s choice was on talent & the season the player had, Rio should have been chosen.
Potz: Is the pressure more on the Ukraine or England tonight. Ukraine being the home nation and England... well because of their media.
Pom man: Pressure is relative. The pressure for the home team to win is great as is the pressure for a football-mad country like England. It’s relative…like Inception, but with a ball
Potz: I firmly believe that the WAG's not being at the tournament is a terrible idea (me loves me some women) is it actually helping the England players?
Pom man: The WAG’s came through on the 14th. I don’t think it matters. Is it better to wank? I don’t know.
Potz: Would Roy be killed in the media is he doesn't start Rooney? It's not like England have missed him at the moment.
Pom man: Well who’s to say Rooney couldn't have got the winner against France? I think the England manager will be slated no matter his choice. Right now most are backing Roy though. Whoever he drops, the fans will back him…as long as they win.
Potz: Do you think Defoe hasn't started due to his silly choice of hair colour?
Pom man: Sisqo hasn’t started because he can’t Unleash The Dragon. I’m not sure there’s a need for him or his hair.
Potz: Do you think Adam Johnson would have been a better player to take with than Stewart Downing? Or even Emile Heskey?
Pom man: I think Luke Chadwick would have been a better choice than Downing. Jokes aside, if a team is picked on their performances, why would anybody choose Downing. But, I believe he’s been brought with due to his “potential ability” and not his current form.
Potz: Why are you English so fond of potatoes?
Pom man: The Irish actually love them more. I gave that bitch a potato. Bitches love potatoes.
Potz: Are you secretly hoping that it rains tonight to give England an unfair advantage?
Pom man: Why? Is the Ukraine a tropical wonderland of sunny skies and white sandy beaches? A game was delayed because Ukrainian weather is so bad.
Potz: Will an Englishman ever win Wimbledon?
Pom man: Yes. Vinnie Jones.
Potz: Is Spain's chicken tika football style more boring than England's at the moment?
Pom man: England vs France 2nd half had me staring at my wall for 5 minutes wondering about paint combinations. Yet Sweden vs England was one of the most exciting games of the Euro’s. Spain against tough opposition are extremely boring. I've stopped watching them. Who needs 800 passes to score 1 goal? Don’t they know “kick it to the big guy up front” tactics?
Potz: And finally... do you think that England will EVER win another major trophy?
Pom man: Yes. They’ll win Euro 2012. Until I see them knocked-out with my own eyes, I’ll have hope.
Right....
Here at the FootieCall Villa, we manged to track down an England National team expert and probe him as to whether England have the balls of steel to get through to the next round. We however cannot give away his name or role as it might have an adverse effect on his current relationship with the England national team...
FootieNuts, I give to you... Pom man!
 |
| That's him on the left |
Potz: Who will partner Rooney up from tonight, Andy Carroll or Wellbeck?
Pom man: Wellbeck. Aside from the goal, he had a better game than the Divine Ponytail. 96% passing accuracy & 2 chances created. He also has the ability to play wide if Roy does decide to have 3 up front.
Potz: Do you think AC should start due to his "good-ish" game in the previous round?
Pom man: We love you England oh yes we do... What? Oh yeah. He has done all he can, but he’s outclassed by Rooney & Danny has done a better job. There’s a need for Carroll, but perhaps not a need to start him.
Potz: Please stay focused? What's the mood like in the England camp at the moment?
Pom man: One Alan Shearer! There's only one Alan Shearer! Mood? Ah, OK. The return of Rooney brings a lot of optimism – the man himself is hungry for action. Although this does promise a lot, the idea that they can go all the way has also returned. With it brings unnecessary pressure. I think the players are level headed while also optimistic.
Potz: Are you happy with Roy's defensive approach?
Pom man: I wouldn't say it’s a fully defensive approach. 4 goals in 2 games is a good return. France are stronger than England so other tactics were required. He’s growing the team & they’re adapting to each game well – including the friendlies.
Potz: Many people have slated Hodgson for leaving out Rio. Yet, Hodgson's defensive style suggests that a 10 man defensive line works with or without Rio. Your thoughts?
Pom man: They can play defensive when they need to. If Roy’s choice was on talent & the season the player had, Rio should have been chosen.
Potz: Is the pressure more on the Ukraine or England tonight. Ukraine being the home nation and England... well because of their media.
Pom man: Pressure is relative. The pressure for the home team to win is great as is the pressure for a football-mad country like England. It’s relative…like Inception, but with a ball
Potz: I firmly believe that the WAG's not being at the tournament is a terrible idea (me loves me some women) is it actually helping the England players?
Pom man: The WAG’s came through on the 14th. I don’t think it matters. Is it better to wank? I don’t know.
Potz: Would Roy be killed in the media is he doesn't start Rooney? It's not like England have missed him at the moment.
Pom man: Well who’s to say Rooney couldn't have got the winner against France? I think the England manager will be slated no matter his choice. Right now most are backing Roy though. Whoever he drops, the fans will back him…as long as they win.
Potz: Do you think Defoe hasn't started due to his silly choice of hair colour?
Pom man: Sisqo hasn’t started because he can’t Unleash The Dragon. I’m not sure there’s a need for him or his hair.
Potz: Do you think Adam Johnson would have been a better player to take with than Stewart Downing? Or even Emile Heskey?
Pom man: I think Luke Chadwick would have been a better choice than Downing. Jokes aside, if a team is picked on their performances, why would anybody choose Downing. But, I believe he’s been brought with due to his “potential ability” and not his current form.
Potz: Why are you English so fond of potatoes?
Pom man: The Irish actually love them more. I gave that bitch a potato. Bitches love potatoes.
Potz: Are you secretly hoping that it rains tonight to give England an unfair advantage?
Pom man: Why? Is the Ukraine a tropical wonderland of sunny skies and white sandy beaches? A game was delayed because Ukrainian weather is so bad.
Potz: Will an Englishman ever win Wimbledon?
Pom man: Yes. Vinnie Jones.
Potz: Is Spain's chicken tika football style more boring than England's at the moment?
Pom man: England vs France 2nd half had me staring at my wall for 5 minutes wondering about paint combinations. Yet Sweden vs England was one of the most exciting games of the Euro’s. Spain against tough opposition are extremely boring. I've stopped watching them. Who needs 800 passes to score 1 goal? Don’t they know “kick it to the big guy up front” tactics?
Potz: And finally... do you think that England will EVER win another major trophy?
Pom man: Yes. They’ll win Euro 2012. Until I see them knocked-out with my own eyes, I’ll have hope.
England till I die,
I'm England till I die,
I know I am I'm sure I am,
I'm England till I die.
Right....
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